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reed eats balloon hat [May. 1st, 2009|07:31 pm]

reed eats balloon hat, originally uploaded by alexapharm.


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facebook notes need to me on lj instead [Apr. 28th, 2009|10:56 am]
1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in the world.

9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
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In case of apocalypse, eat junk food. [Apr. 12th, 2009|04:51 pm]
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[Current Mood |hungryhungry]

Last night Chris Waltrip (former Sasoonie) and I Twitterpated the following list of junk foods to be eaten in case of specific apocalypses.

The list is as follows:

Asteroid hitting the planet => buffalo wings.

massive, coastline-annihilating tsunami => onion rings

Yellowstone super volcano eruption => chili cheese fries.

rampant zombies => Torchy's queso

normal zombies => pork rinds

rise of the machines => Pocky sticks

the Rapture => fried Twinkies

Somali pirate attack => choco tacos

nuclear winter => jalapeno poppers

Mecha-Godzilla => excessive bacon

sudden melting of the polar ice caps => mozzarella sticks

for added inspiration, please visit thisiswhyyourefat.com
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Matt asleep [Apr. 9th, 2009|08:59 pm]

Matt asleep, originally uploaded by alexapharm.

Boxes are still everywhere, but at least the bed is unpacked.

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house! [Apr. 4th, 2009|09:06 pm]
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[Current Mood |aggravatedaggravated]

the house is coming along nicely, now that i've vanquished the chills fever swollen glands vomiting peeing out the butt flu of DEATH

kitchen and living room 85% free of boxes.
bedroom and hallway 45% free of boxes
music and art room is an impenetrable fortress full of boxes of Matt's crap.
It is a medicine puzzle.
It is the pile of doom.
It is something that Matt keeps talking about doing, but somehow always manages to invite people to come over and hang out instead.


Blinds are up in the bedroom, finally, so I can quit flashing the neighborhood.

however, I don't get to spend the night in my new house tonight, as a certain burnout coworker had a hissy fit over having to do the overnight when there's a documentary film crew crashing upstairs in the tv room. I'm doing it instead, with no extra compensation.
His attitude was piss-poor enough to make me want to take some hourly pay away, anyway - so if he doesn't want to work, fine, then he don't get paid.

Sometimes being a manager sucks.

Sweet scores at the record convention today -
Brian Eno, Amon Duul, Rough Trade comp circa 1981, Sonic Youth w/ Lydia Lunch, Half Japanese.
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(no subject) [Mar. 29th, 2009|09:47 pm]
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[Current Mood |exhaustedexhausted]

mostly moved.
slightly unpacked.
sore as fuck.
matt's shocks are in disrepair - held onto the van with a wire coat hanger.
he's helping TOM move into the tiny garage apt. he's sharing with girl of past 2-3 months.
bad idea.

back is in a LOT of pain.

still have to move old futon and frame and random crap from old house.

need to buy shades/curtains for new house.

need to unpack, set up kitchen, buy some shelves, buy living room rug, go grocery shopping.

sniffly, sore throat, tired, and achy.
matt feels the same way.

hopefully he's just allergic to all the dust that's been stirred up and we're both not coming down with the same cold.

also need bathtub plug, sink drainer, and a whole list of stuff from home despot.

matt's sister wants to give us a deep fryer. matt is excited. i am terrified.
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the dreaded duo now on facebook. [Mar. 24th, 2009|03:48 pm]

bad joke time!

What did one piece of sushi say to the other? Wassssssabiiiiii!
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sxsw wrap free [Mar. 24th, 2009|03:32 am]
1- ran into Jimmy at club 1808 - we went there to see some noise, noise was over by the time we got there and I had NO FUCKING IDEA that Transmo was playing the outside stage.
Matt and I saw Dillon and after a couple of minutes of idle chatting, I turned away to walk towards the bar and Jimmy was RIGHT FUCKING THERE. No chance of ignoring each other - we exchanged awkward eye contact and waves, Jimmy gave Matt a weird look (like he has any fucking right to) and then we acted like the 'other' did not exist.

2- Saw Casiotone for the Painfully alone at Ms Bea's - seriously the best for free SXSW shows. I enjoyed myself - not so sure if anyone else did. We missed Lou Barlow by like an hour. Sad.

3- Did not go see No Age on Sat. night 'cause we were all tired and Matt fell asleep on the couch with a lit cigarette in his mouth.

DID see Eat Skull, Wavves, Casiotone, Pataphysics, Pocahaunted, and Indian Jewelry.

Much better than last year, in which I stayed home, didn't eat anything, lost 20 lbs, and cried a lot.

Worked an assload, that didn't change. I think this might have been the smoothest SXSW at the hostel so far. Woo!
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i'm going to cry [Mar. 7th, 2009|05:20 pm]
[Tags|, ]
[Current Mood |shockedshocked]

I was looking at the online reviews of the hostel (I'm at work) and I came across this one:

The good:
The male staff here are all friendly and professional, and can assist you on where to go in this town based on your interests.
The bad:
Parts of this hostel reek of body odor and mold. If you have a sudden change of plans and had to stay for more than 14 days, they will not tell you until the 13th day; far less than courteous !
The ugly:
Be sensitive to the staff member ali. Don't bring up the facial hair of this transgendered individual or "she" will freak-out about how "she's" always been a lady, and may kick you out of the hostel !

i am going to bury myself in a hole in the ground
who the fuck wrote that?
i feel sick
transgendered? perhaps i was in need of an upper lip wax, but transgendered?
i'm going to pass out.
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awww... [Mar. 4th, 2009|06:12 pm]
[Current Mood |chipperchipper]

E Ray challenged me to write a quick one line description about him, from the hip. I came up with:

E Ray is a quirky martial arts expert with a deep love for bacon grease.

He wrote: if the puzzle were made of honesty, attitude and energy, Ali is the missing piece.

This may be the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me. I am unworthy.
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